International Day of the Rights of the Child
The reason I'm reflecting on this today is because I believe it's important for all children to feel valued. I deliberately don't say "feeling," but "finding." Because "finding" goes a step further. First come thoughts, then emotions. Thoughts determine your emotions.
A child has the right to be himself and not to be measured by a standard.
To be valued just the way they are. With all the ups and downs that come with it. With all the learning moments and mistakes. With all the helpful and less helpful actions. You are allowed to see them. With a gentle gaze, from the heart. That's how they deserve to be seen. By you. By their teacher. By family. And of course, by themselves.
Diversity is beautiful, and everything is normal. It can't be otherwise, because the children, your child, are there and do this, and that's normal. Even if society isn't designed for them, that doesn't say anything about your child. It says something about society. Without judgment. Perhaps it also says something about the way you view society and the opportunities you see for your child within it. And what you see, your child sees.
As a parent, you have influence on this. While it may not always feel that way, it starts with remembering your strength, your responsibility, and your security. Because you have them. I know that, and I trust it.
A suitable card for this from my book "Holistic Parenting - Open to the possibilities of yourself and your child" is the card "Who is this diagnosis for?".
Instead of diagnosing or assessing, you can also give a child a strength label. If you're unsure how to handle certain behaviors in your child, you can choose to adopt an attitude that empowers your child. Look with the eyes of your heart. See the love in what your child is doing right now. Be curious and ask questions, like the ones on the card.
Children learn something themselves—for example, behavior that could be considered a disorder by our society—that is helpful to them at that moment. Over time, the child's situation can change, and that behavior may no longer be helpful, but it may still be present. Fortunately, our brains are flexible, and children can change through you. When you change, they change. By looking with gentle eyes. By observing your child's potential. By seeing what makes them happy and arranging the environment so they can grow stronger in this.
By strengthening what already exists, children will feel valued and justified in their existence. This starts with your support and perspective.
Have fun with the map!